Worst Toys: January 2010

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Worst Toy Dora The Explorer AquaPet

Click For Larger Image of Dora The Explorer Worst Toy Ever for a Bigger . .Umm . . Picture!

Possibly The Worst Toy Ever In History? At least this Dora The Explorer Ding Dong Toy is The Most Infamous! Part of AquaPets line from Japan, the actual USA retail package calls this Dora the Explorer Toy " Your interactive Friend".

The Dora Aquapet Toy was Noticed to be "Phallic" looking almost immediately and has been the "Butt" of "Worst Toy" Jokes Ever Since!

I Mean Reallyyyyyy! What were they Thinking? Watch the Mike Mozart of JeepersMedia on YouTube Review Below!

Watch this Very Funny YouTube Toy Review Too!

Worst Toy Boss Hogg Punching Bag! Beat Up Eldery, Helpless, Short, Fat Guys!

Click on The "Beat the Crap" out of Boss Hogg Image to get a LARGER View of this Worst Toy. ( the Picture was Printed Blurry in The Catalog, I'll replace with a Better One)

Worst Toy Ever Highest Honors to any Toy that encourages Children to Beat up on Elderly, Overweight and Short Men. What an Inspiring Boxing Workout! Better than Rocky Balboa punching Meat in the Butcher's Meat Locker.

The Boss Hogg Officially Licensed Merchandise Dukes of Hazzard TV Punching inflatable Boxing Bop Bag.

Boss Hogg may have had His Butt whooped by them Dukes of Hazzard Boys, Bo and Luke, but they never Punched him. The Perfect Toy to teach your aspiring " Bully To Be" to pick on weak, short, elderly victims early to Keep his butt from getting kicked.

I guess they Never made that " Uncle Jesse Punching Bag" that might have been a Worst Punching Bag Licensed Toy! Now . . . If ONLY they had made an Inflatable Daisy Duke . . well . .

From the Amazing Catalog Collection of Mike Mozart of Jeepersmedia on  YouTube the Famous Reviewer of the WORST Toys Ever!

Hysterically Funny YouTube Video a Definite YouTube Classic

Worst Toy Incredible Hulk Plush Atrocity from 1983 Toy Catalog

Click On the " Lobster Claw" Aborted Fetus Hulk Plushie to Enlarge!

The Incredible Hulk as Mini Me Hulk! This Soft SuperHero Snuggler looks absolutely Ridiculous next to the still terrible SpiderMan and SuperMan Soft Superheros.

I think these Crap-Tastic Hulk toys are the Work of Dr. Evil in His Quest to take over the Earth. I wish I could use Dr. Evil's Time Machine and go back to 1983 and Bitch Slap the Designer of this " Joe Dirt" mullet Packing Excuse for a Plush Toy! And Look at those truly FU'ed Arms and Hands. I Mean Really! What Were Thinking to approve this Cancerous Blight on Toy History.

Oh, the Spidey and Superman Plushies Suck Ass too, but No Where NEAR as Bad!

Clever and Funny YouTube Video.

Little Baby Seizure Doll from 1983

Click the Baby Wiggles Image From the Depths of Hell to Enlarge!

Wind up Baby Wiggles to Put her into a Simulated Ecstasy and All Night Rave induced Seizure. The Haunting tinkle of the Metal Wind up Music Box, ( which the Borg assimilated into Her Body) Controls her spastic body Movements!

Wait? . . . She? . . . . This Doll has a Boy Head Style Sculpture and a Blue and White Lacey Edged Sleeper? I'm not even Going There!

Look at the Description, " She Moves Around Like a Real Baby" , O_o , Is this "My First Shaken Baby Syndrome Doll"?

Please Link to this Horrifying Doll From the Underworld Image From your Comedy Webpage, Fail blog or Ebay Scary Doll Listing, EKK!

Another Misfit Toy Tot image was found Lurking in the Stupendous Toy Catalog Research Collection of Mike Mozart of Jeepersmedia. Self Proclaimed  YouTube King, the Famous Funny YouTube "WORST Toy" Reviewer!

Funny Youtube Video

My First Stepford Wives Doll. Every Little Girls Fantasy Bride Doll from 1983 Catalog.

Click the Bride from Hell to enlarge to Picture!

Un-named ( Thank God) Bride Doll from 1983 is ALREADY in a Prozac Induced Coma. Preparing for a Subservient Life as a Baby Making Machine, until her Drunk Ass Abusive Husband takes off leaving her with four hungry ADHD Kids to Support.

Then Her Deadbeat, Coke Head, Ex-husband never pays child support or alimony and moves to Barbados with his Smokin' Hot Barely Legal Supermodel Trophy Wife .

As Belinda, ( I felt it Necessary to name this Poor Soul), watches what little Beauty and Youth she once had slip away, no matter how many long hours she works at the Freezie Queen Scooping Cones to pay for her Ultimately Disfiguring Plastic Surgery.

Please Link to this Pathetic Doll Image or Embed in your Boring Webpage, Inane blog or Ebay Vintage Doll Auction Listing ( LOL)!

My First Prozac Pill Poppin' Dolly Picture was discovered Hiding in the Huge, and Utterly Worstless, Toy and Product Catalog Collection of Robotic Avatar Cyborg, Mike Mozart, of Jeepersmedia on  YouTube. The Funny YouTube Celebrity and Worst Ever Toy Reviewer!

OMG! See this Funny YouTube Video!

Worst Toy, Winnie The Pooh Crib Rail Toy from 1983.

Click The Winnie the Pooh Crib Rail toy Picture to Enlarge

Worst Toy EVER?, Winnie The Pooh Crib Rail Toy from 1983. Who thought This was a good Idea? I mean Really! I guess Pooh Bear uses the honey for Lube so he doesn't leave "Skid Marks"! Well he IS " Pooh".

Not to Mention that Bee Putting his "Stinger" in Pooh's Butt!

Please Link to this Bizarre Winnie the Pooh Preschool Baby Crib Worst Toy Image or Embed This Funny Picture in your Fail Webpage, Toy blog or Ebay Pooh Toy Auction Listing!

Worst Toy Image researched from the Catalog Toy Archive Collection of Mike Mozart of Jeepersmedia on  YouTube the Famous YouTube Celebrity and Worst Toy Reviewer!

Check out this Funny YouTube Video you Might have Missed!

I think Baby Drowsy Looks Like She's STONED

Click the Picture Above to see the Vintage Drowsy Doll Picture Bigger!

Baby Drowsy Looks like She's STONED. You Pull her "String" ( Why do they put Quotations around THAT WORD in the description?) . . . . and She goes Sleepy Time Forever! Bwa ha ha ha!

Baby Drowsy Doll has 11 things to say? God only knows what THOSE Things are? Her "Painted" eyes never close so when she "Sleeps" She looks Dead! What WAS this Doll Designer "Smoking"????

Please Link to this God Awful Doll Picture from your LMAO Webpage, Epic Fail blog or Ebay Dead Doll Auction *Roflcoptering*!

From the 5 Hundred Billion Catalog Worst Toy Collection of Mike Mozart of Jeepersmedia. Internet Celebrity, Famous Jet Setter, Highlander Immortal and  YouTube WORST Toy Reviewer! ( His Reviews Suck! Don't Watch Them . . Ever!)

Funny YouTube Toy Video

This Plush Toy is Supposed to be Bugs Bunny, not Satan.

Click the Fugly Bugs Bunny doll Above for a Larger View of this Worst Toy Ever Contender!

WOW! By the time the 1980's Rolled Around, Bugs Bunny REALLY let himself go . . . or he is in his Third Trimester. And "What's Up Doc" with those Ridiculous Red Satan Horn Ears from the Pit. Does this mean that Bugs Bunny is actually a Changeling? A Spawn of Satan's Seed, switched at birth with a normal baby to be raised by the unsuspecting parents?

Well, to be fair, they could be Donkey, Jackass Ears. Do his Yellow Gloves lead up to believe that hid "Misses" a lot? Molded Plastic Head twice as Large as the Actual Character, unless this is Hydrocephalic Bugs?

It says "You'll Be Surpised at what Bugs says when "You Pull His String". Be Surprised? I would Expect "What's Up Doc". I guess a "Phrase" that would "Surprise Me" might be something to the effect of "I'll Pop a Cap, (Carrot?) in Your Ass".

Show Your Lack of Taste and Judgement and Link to this Image from your less than Virile Web Page, Really Pathetic Blog or your Bugs Bunny Toy Ebay ill-advised auction Listing!

Check out this Playlist of very funny videos on YouTube

This Bugs Plush Toy Popped out of the Looney Tooney Hole of a Catalog Collection that Mike Mozart is Composting at JeepersMedia. The Less Than Classy, Funny  YouTube Channel Clogged up with Famous WORST Toy Reviews!

Funny You Tube

Scary Little Frozen Baby Doll Worst Doll Ever Contender

What's up with That Diaper that could fit a 1,500 pound Cow? Babies First Tiny Tears Doll from 1974. Since the Eyes are Fixed in the Open Position ALWAYS, It looks like a Scary Dead Little Frozen Baby pulled from a Snow Drift! Click on this Playlist of Very Funny Videos!

Check out these Funny Mickey Mouse Ice Pops!

Such a Fun Game! Don't Drop Mama! A Great Toy Review by Mike Mozart

Do you remember the Gooey Louie Game? Watch a Toy review of Gooey Louie HERE!

Super-Softie Super Hero Dolls? Break Out The Viagra!

Click The Super Softie Super Hero Worst Toys to Enlarge The Picture.

Super-Softie Super Hero Dolls? Break Out The Viagra! Superman is No Longer the " Man of Steel" in this Limp stuffed excuse for a toy. Batman is as Lumpy as Ten Pounds of Potatoes in a Five Pound Sack. And, as for Spiderman, Mary Jane would drop Spidey in a Heartbeat.

These Super Softie Landfill Fodder Super Heros are from a 1981 Catalog. May they Rest in Super Softie Pieces!

If You Are Not Soft like These toys, Link to this Iron Clad Worst Toys Blog from your Studly Web Page, Ripped Blog or Ebay Superhero Toy Action Listing!

This Toy Image from the HUGE Catalog Collection of World Class Nerd, Mike Mozart of JeepersMedia the Very Worst Channel on  YouTube the Famous Funny YouTube Worst Toy Reviews! Click the Banner Below if you are "SuperHero" Enough!

Doesn't Hulk Look Like Rosie O'Donnell it this Nasty Bop Bag?

Click On the Worst Hulk Toy Image to Enlarge!

Doesn't the Incredible Hulk Look Like Rosie O'Donnell as Drawn this Nasty Bop Bag? ( And that Kid Looks Like Baby Donald Trump). Did they Hire a Blind Monkey with Palsy to Create this Blight on Marvel Toy History?

Please Link to this Seed of Satan Worst Toy Image from your Bizarre Web Site, Irreverent blog or Ebay Hulk Toy Auction . . C'mon, Do it for teh lulz :P!

Picture from the Ho Hum Toy Catalog Trash Heap Piled up by Mike Mozart. Incredibly Handsome and Debonair Internet Celebrity... more lulz ... from Jeepersmedia on  YouTube the Famous Funny You Tube Worst Toy Reviewer!

Funny You Tube

Can They Ever Make a Hulk Toy that Doesn't look Like Crap?

Click on The Hideous Hulk "Walking" Blow Up Doll for a Larger Image.

Why Did EVER old Hulk Toy ( and LOTS of Recent Ones!) look Like a Big, Green Stinking Pile of Nasty Festering Moldy Crap? Well, This one was Plunged from Lucifer's Backed up Toilet.

Bruce Banner's Alter Ego with Anger Management Control Issues looks like the Ugliest Inflatable Blow Up doll Ever.

Notice "Walking" is in "Quotations" on the Toy description. Freshly Raised Zombies with Fully Rotted Bodies would have shuffled around like Gracefully Striding Ballroom Dancers compared to this Shockingly BAD, Abortive Excuse for "Walking Hulk Toy"!

The Hulk Artwork on the Toy Itself looks like it was Drawn, (Executed ), by Ritalin Sucking Piglets, rolling around on a canvas, in a Mud Encrusted Pig Pen.

The $4.99 Retail Price from 1981 of this Hulk Travesty, is comparable to a $39.99 toy in Today's Money 30 years later. A Vintage Worst Toy Rip-Off!

This Evil Toy will Follow you until the End of Your Days unless you Link to this Image from your Crappy Web Page, Mommy Blog or Ebay Incredible Hulk Toy Auction!

This Image Pulled out from the Sticky Recesses of the Toy and Catalog Collection of Mike Mozart of Jeepersmedia. Worshipped as a Deity on  YouTube, Mike Mozart is the YouTube Celebrity Worst Toy Reviewer!

This Doesn't Look Good! Raggety Andy Toothpaste Dispenser from 1980 Catalog

Click Raggety Andy Worst Toy to Enlarge!

This Doesn't Look Good! Raggety Andy Toothpaste Dispenser from 1980 Catalog. Why did they need to put that Lever THERE to make the Toothpaste Come out????

Press down on the Trigger to make the White Toothpaste squeeze out from between his legs? I Mean Really! What were they Thinking? The Facial Expression is PRICELESS Too!

If you have the same Gutter Class of Humor, Link to this Terrible Blob from your Facebook, Mudane Web Page, Listless blog or Ebay Raggety Ann Toy Auction Listing ( 4 teh lulz)!

From the Less than Amazing Catalog Collection of the Homely and Balding Mike Mozart of Jeepersmedia. Really Funny  YouTube WORST Toy Reviews, ( Well I might Exaggerate)!

I you want to see a Funny YouTube Video Try This